How to ask for money rather than gifts or presents

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Is it okay to ask for money rather than a wedding gift

Wedding Presents

It was once considered impolite to request money rather than a wedding gift.  However, whilst an isolated few might still feel that way, a vast number of others now see this as a much more acceptable situation.  Times have moved on and many couples live together before marrying and so they often have all they really need in terms of home wares by the time they marry.  As a result a donation of cash rather than a gift is often more genuinely helpful.   A cash or monetary gift can be used to fund an otherwise unaffordable honeymoon or help finance the cost of the wedding, which more and more couples are financing themselves (rather than rely on their parents).

The important point here is to understand the recipients.  Only you know how your family and friends will react to this and therefore how best to ask.  Don’t be nervous though, most people nowadays do not find this impolite and actually, most will just see it as a very practical request, given you have everything in your home you might want.  Nobody wants to see their money wasted and so most will be pleased that you can use it in whatever way benefits you the greatest (which really is the point of a gift anyway).

OK, I still feel a bit awkward (because I’m British, and don’t like asking for cash!) but how can I do it?

Well, we see a variety of ways of asking for money rather than a wedding present, some are simple phrases and explanations and some are in the form of simple poems.  We have laid out a few examples below to help guide you.

Poems

A small poem is a common way of asking for money that somehow softens the message and makes it fun.  A few of our favourites (12 to be precise) are set out here, but remember there is no reason you can’t adapt these to come up with something truly original and personal to you.

Poem (2)
For a couple of years we’ve lived in sin,
we have a toaster, a kettle and a stainless steel bin,
saucepans and towels we have many
corkscrews and flannels we don’t need any,
we just want you with us to celebrate our day,
but if you insist on a gift anyway,
what we’d really like is a gift of money,
we hope you don’t think we’re being funny!
We’ll put it all together and buy something that’s best,
as a reminder of our day and our wonderful guests!
Poem (1)
We haven’t got a wedding list,
the reason we’ll explain,
is to save you all the hassle as shopping is a pain,
We’ve been together for a while,
And have most things we need,
So vouchers, cash or cheques would be gratefully received,
The choice is yours, so please don’t fuss
the most important thing of all
Is that you come and celebrate with us!
But, if you’d like to contribute,
to our soft & cosy rooms,
Our heartfelt thanks go out to you


Poem (4)
So what do you get
For the bride and groom
Whose house needs things
In every room?
When shopping for a present please don’t be rash
As there is always the option
To just give cash!
We hope you don’t find
Our request to be funny
But we really would appreciate
A gift of money
Poem (3)
We hope that you will come along
On this special day,
To celebrate our union
In a very special way.
Together we have been for a while now,
We collected all our household goods
Before we took our Vows.
To make it easy for you
And avoid the shopping hell,
We thought that we would have
A little ‘Money Well’.
So please don’t be offended at our request,
Just seal it in this envelope
And come and be our guest.


Poem (6)
We’ve been together for a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn’t offend and it won’t send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same
Poem (5)
Now we are to be Mr & Mrs
We don’t need a wedding list of dishes
We have two kettles, two toasters, two microwaves
We require a house for which we have to save.
If you would like to give us a gift,
A cheque or vouchers would give us a lift
We like to think of it as our ‘wishing well’
Which will be filled with your love, we can tell.


Poem (8)
To save you looking, shopping or buying.
Here is an idea, we hope you like trying!
Come to our wedding, to wish us both well.
And make some use of our little wishing well.
Just put some money into a card,
Now make a wish…..see that wasn’t hard!
Now that we have saved you, all that fuss.
We hope you will come, and celebrate with us.
Please don’t be offended at this type of request,
As our day will be complete having you as our guest.
Poem (7)
To save you looking, shopping or buying.
Here is an idea, we hope you like trying.
Come to our wedding, to wish us both well.
And bring this small sack, to throw in our wishing well.
Fill it with paper all colours will do, gold is our favourite but silver will do.
Now that we have saved you, all that fuss.
We hope you will come, and celebrate with us.


Poem (10)
More than just kisses so far we’ve shared,
Our home has been made with love and care,
Most things we need we’ve already got,
And in out home we can’t fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish but shhh don’t tell!
Once we’ve replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we’re sure,
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.
Please don’t be offended at this type of request,
As our day is complete having you as our guest.
Poem (9)
We don’t want to offend but we have it all,
All household goods and so much more.
To save you shopping, sit back and rest,
A gift of currency is our request.
Don’t go overboard or rob any banks,
Any little thing will make us smile with thanks.
We supply the wishing well,
No wrapping, an envelop who can tell.
Now that we have saved you all the fuss,
It would be appreciated if you would come
And celebrate with us


Poem (12)
Your presence at our wedding
Is present enough,
But if we’re honored
with a gift from you,
May we respectfully request
a gift of money
To help the dream of
A honeymoon come true!
Poem (11)
We are sending out this invitation
In hope you’ll join our celebration
But if a gift is your intention
We’ll take this oppurtunity to mention
We have already got a kettle and toaster
crockery, dinner mats, and matching coasters
so rather than something we have already got
We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we request
That you come to our wedding as our guest



Don’t fancy a poem, then how about these?

If you don’t want to, or can’t find room on the the wedding invitations to include a poem then why not opt for a simple explanatory paragraph instead.  Some of the best we have seen are listed below:

  1. We would prefer your presence not your presents, but if you would like to give us a gift, then money towards our dream honeymoon would be welcomed
  2. We have evertything we need after living together for a year, and only ask that you share our special day. However, if you wanted to make a monetary contribution, we would be most grateful, but please do not feel obliged to do so
  3. We respectfully ask that no gifts are brought, if you wish to make a cash gift with which we would like to purchase some larger items for our home, there will be a box at the reception.
  4. The most important thing for us is your presence during the day to celebrate our marriage and gifts are by no means expected. If however, you do feel you would like to give something, then some spending money to enjoy whilst on our dream honeymoon would be very much appreciated.
  5. As we have every thing we need in our home we would be grateful of money, if you wish, as we are looking at having a family holiday with our children.

I hope the above examples have given you enough ideas to generate a poem or paragraph of text for your invitations.  Asking for money rather than wedding presents is no longer considered impolite by most people, so ask for what you need rather than a whole load of toasters that you don’t!

Gary Trotter

I am a Director of DigiPrint Graphics Limited which owns the wedding stationery website Special Day Invitations, also on Twitter and FaceBook. I blog mainly on the subject of wedding stationery but will sometimes pick up on more general wedding related topics or related printing industry topics. Why not connect up with Gary on

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2 Comments

  1. I have been often wondering how to ask for money and not presents at our wedding and it is such a good idea to put just a little poem insted of the words sounding cheeky. Me and my partner have been together for 11 years and have two lovely children so you could perhaps see why we would just want the money. thank you for your help

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